"Bloody hacksaw Ling" reminded me of myself in the church school days
jihewang· 2016-12-22 07:29:04
lead: two days ago I went to the cinema to see "bloody hacksaw Ling" the movie is great, whether it is war, it is the glory of human nature, the performance of these films is very rich in contents, although there are many real war the scene in the movie, but these did not prevent the real understanding of the movie audience. Just for Chinese audience, the protagonist's religious complex may make a lot of people can not accept.
then on the day after watching the movie, I returned home can't help lying in bed to make blind and disorderly conjectures. The Dawes religious background makes me inexplicable recalled in church school days, think of their own that year is an unforgettable experience.
Through it all, my eyes are on you.
I was in 2010 when the exchange students come to the United States through the church school, then exchange students can choose private schools and public schools at the time of their own, perhaps because of the strange American movies, total that public school filled with bullying, so he chose a private school, but at that time, I also don't know private schools this The King's Academy is actually a church school.
and an overwhelming majority of proletarian revolution and Marx thought political lesson the students run, I had no concept of what the religion, even once in two that the world didn't what this is all those western the monsters and freaks of all descriptions themselves created fake things. With this educational background into the church school I began to have a lot of adaptation.
I received the Shrom family is a typical Christian family, and the movie "bloody ridge" inside the Dawes hacksaw, they believe a devout god. They are very nice to me, and I hope to God's gospel to me. Unfortunately, just to the United States, I have a strong resistance to these things, for the existence of God is also holding a kind of "this is just a psychological comfort," the idea." if I live to HomeStay before every meal hand this hand to pray this kind of thing, because of the small Lolita home is very soft hands if I can accept a weekly religious class I can read story quite as fun to see the past then, a Sunday morning I have to climb up to go to church to worship what this kind of thing, I really can not stand completely.
so in most of the time, those Sunday I either Homestay and begged not to go, or go to church after sneaking on the back lawn lying in the sun to sleep. Once when I listen to a speech in church, but accidentally fell asleep snore, the whole people are looking at me, it is embarrassing.
I didn't understand the significance of religion to these Christian families. So in a Shrom hostess of Jane's criticism, I also go to escape Xipixiaolian make impromptu comic gestures and ramarks.
just arrived in the United States, I was preparing for TOEFL and SAT double exam. Private school teachers are more open, they decided that if my results are all qualified standards, give me the school issued a high school diploma. To know at that time choose three exchange students, most of them can not get a diploma in the country, and exchange schools do not give diplomas. But whether the United States or China universities need to provide students with a high school diploma, they so many people have chosen to repeat a year." to get a diploma means I can not wait for that year, so I was desperately trying to prepare for the TOEFL and SAT. Under pressure, I often conflict with the host family. This conflict often happens in church related activities, when I think these activities are meaningless and will take up a lot of my normal review time. The Shrom family thinks I need to participate in these family activities, so as to be a family.
this value makes me very uncomfortable, if there is a child in China said, I am addicted to learning. "Parents must love that. But it is not necessary to learn such things in the United States, if the lack of communication between learning and receiving families is more serious. So after a conflict, I think I can't go on like this, so I sat down with the Shrom family to talk about God.
I "you said God does not exist, how do you prove his existence, since it does not exist, why should I believe him? "
Shrom" you don't need to believe in him, Jesus is in your heart. "
I" that I changed a saying well, believe what's in it for me? Why should I believe? "
Shrom" is no good, I believe Jesus is not an option for me, but a natural inspiration. "
me" do you think there is anything different after believing in God? "
Shrom" you will feel a kind of balance, when you sad not sad, when you are happy you are not too happy, you will feel calm.
to tell the truth, this dialogue is meaningless for me at that time, I still do not believe in the existence of God, don't believe what Jesus Christ, but I feel no need and family conflict, so began to try to follow their advice, to participate in some activities, although I myself don't know what is the meaning of these activities.
gradually I found that God is not very important. Although religious people always cried what God, but faith the existence of and not relying on God, the more it is based on the . The mutual care and care between people, the mutual help between the believers, and the comfort of the sad things.
so, if religion is to teach people to be good, then what is? So I began to slowly accept the Church of these things, I found my heart has become very calm. I dare not say that I really have faith, or believe in God, because I always have doubts about God this thing, but in this process I feel very relaxed, very happy.
One More "Dawes shouted on the battlefield, One More". At that time he asked God to let him save a person, but is to save is not God, but dawes. is the Dawes to forge ahead to save a and one of their comrades, he is trying not to give up to save others, just give him courage is his faith.
young Dawes see God's commandments and never take the gun, do not kill people, no matter what things are your faith. If religion really has any effect, its greater role is to let people go to love it, it gives people the courage to let people to face the question of their own strong. God loves the world, loves others as himself, and the so-called way of loving God may be through the gospel to let people help each other, love each other.
I Shall Not Want" as mentioned earlier, I was reading the school is an out and out of the church school, but not what the church school, he is more like a small community church school feeling. Our entire senior, which is the highest grade 12 less than 10 people, and the school from kindergarten until the highest of the grade 12 add up to less than 200 people, can be said to be a particularly small school. In the
inside the school teacher and the general impression of elementary school teacher, the teacher is the school of political science Princeton University, former professor, physics teacher is a university near the more than and 70 year old professor, and an English teacher is the English Department master, graduated from Cambridge. A variety of very powerful people gathered in this small school." and my English teacher is not very good, on the one hand for foreigners is the most difficult to English textbooks, and the course and often involves a lot of Old English poetry and the part (you can imagine foreigners to learn China the picture is beautiful), on the other hand because this course is often the first lesson, so I am trapped to death, often doze off. It can be imagined that teachers often criticize me in class, sometimes even let me go out punishment station.
once I had a problem with my homework, she left me with my serious talk so that I could take my homework seriously. At that time I have got the American university offer, for school homework is not particularly care, and to tell the truth her class is too difficult. I was fool say a few words what, she suddenly asked me to say you do not believe in Jesus? I did not dare to say is, I don't know the answer." and she told me when she was young, was once a party girl was removed in the nightclub, private life is also very confusing. At that time, although she was from a Christian family, she had never believed in rebellion, and then she was pregnant, and she had wanted an abortion, but was stopped by her Christian parents.
later she slowly accepted the fact that she wanted to be a mother and began to want to give birth to the baby. But then the child or abortion. At that time she was in doubt, and if God does exist, why stop yourself when you end up wanting a child, and let yourself suffer.
later, she and I said to myself in the pain slowly realized. Since then, she no longer believe in God, paranoid God, and more is pinned on god. She will own feelings sustenance in God there, give yourself a home, let oneself can summon up courage, let oneself can rely on. People frustrated when you usually blame on things with no reality whatever fault body, and never think of what he has done wrong and complacent when they emphasize their own efforts, forget the invisible hand that help you.
"and I hope that even if you do not believe in God, you can be loved by God and able to accept the help of those who really want to help you. "
in the class I learned a lot of knowledge about English, but learned the most is not the knowledge, but rather a worldly things has its own rules of fixed values. After that, whenever I succeed in something, I always feel that there are some things I can not see in the protection of me. Rational thinking
told me that with no reality whatever things that are not there, but so what? I have more success when fear, whether they deserve such praise. It is sustenance in those fictional things, I was able to make their own peace of mind.
It is with me
class I have basically all been burned off, but fortunately it was in the middle of the night, the cause of the fire is because the electric appliance repair. School tuition is not high, at that time did not have the money to burn out maintenance, so the school also closed.
is at this time, once in this school to learn the previous alumni, and these alumni parents have donated to The King 's Academy, to help the school through the most difficult time. I also donated $100.
last year before returning home, I went to see the Shrom family, as a homecoming thanks and farewell. This time they didn't ask any questions and I believe. He didn't mention anything about God either, and it seemed that faith was not one of the reasons he helped me. He just said you look more than 4 years ago has grown up.
I never know what I have believed in god. After college I think too early to go to church too far away, then my life and God farther and farther away.
I have all kinds of sins that people have, some sins even more than the average person. I can't face religious beliefs like those Hindus, but even in many difficult times, I will feel that they are not alone, I always feel that there is something to help me, I gave him my gratitude, thanks for the help.
some people say that it is an act of God, is said to have luck, some people say is God, who knows?" in reality, Desmond Dawes's Bible is from his wife, he has been on the battlefield to protect the Bible, in the above, with his wife wrote to him.
dear, every time you read the Bible, follow the faith, God will give you strength.
I pray that God will take care of you, no matter how dark your way, you will not be sad or lonely. If one day you are not in this world, we will be reunited in heaven, God will give us a beautiful place. "
and don't forget the Bible, he almost lost in the battlefield.
is his comrades to pick him back.
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