The little girl, "how beautiful are you?"
zhongguoyouerjiaoyuwang· 2017-02-09 10:27:06
if you have a daughter, should not boast of her beauty, should not encourage her to pursue the beauty of the outside? Many mothers feel that boast beautiful children, will let the child thought he was born superior, this kind of psychological to the child's growth disadvantage, and this argument is justified? This article comes from the
Hugo Schwyzer, he is a professor of gender studies and history of the City University of Pasadena, at the same time, he was still in the interpersonal relationship, men's international well-known speaker. Let's see how he taught his daughter
Author: Hugo Schwyzer
translation: Wang Si meow
article from the shell Tong Science Museum
in the past year, my wife and I and my daughter went to a friend's house to eat dinner.
my daughter is wearing a new dress, like a little princess. Master Tom sincerely praise: "Heloise, you're beautiful! "But his wife Kate stopped him," he said, "I can't boast of the little girls," she said, smiling apologetically at me and Ella. ""at this time, Heloise went to play with other kids, my wife and I immediately said, just Tom's words and no matter what. She quickly explained that she had read a Lisa · Blom's article "how to talk to girls? ", this article spread widely on the Facebook, is the twelfth in 2011 forwarding list. It seems that Kate was deeply affected by it.
Blom in this article conveys an idea: do not boast beautiful girls! She believes that the best way to protect girls from the cultural impact of belittling women's values is not to emphasize their appearance. she urged everyone to praise the girl, to mind, not beautiful, and she and a friend's five year old daughter Maya's story as an example: Blom and Maya only reading, she said: "we have never talked about clothes, hair and body or who is more beautiful things and let the little girls avoid those topics more difficult than expected, but I insisted on doing so. "
in the view of Blom, it does not talk about the appearance of the approach is to let the girls from the light as the value of women social cultural impact", is for a little respect for women, promote the wisdom of thought and the value of the".
beauty = vanity?
, as a girl's father, as well as a scholar in gender studies, , I am also very opposed to women's body in the society, as well as their own value of the wrong understanding. But I don't think the best solution is not to talk about appearance, fashion or beauty.
I at the City College of Pasadena opened a course called "beauty and health" in the Western tradition of course, has been for many years. The course focuses on the intersection of fashion, faith and ideal body from ancient times to modern times. Whenever I teach this class, I always hear the students are very interested in the study of the United States as an academic subject.
many people said, because the child will love to wear pretty clothes and comb the latest style, feel ashamed or ridiculed, many of them have a very cheerful personality and distinctive personality, almost everyone can speak out because of "beauty", and is regarded as "superficial" or "vanity" story.
Caroline is one of the best students I taught, she told me that her high school math and English teacher always told her to get high score or can answer the difficult question surprised, she said, the teachers and students see her dress, hairstyle, and her bag is bigger than a circle of Vogue magazine, they think she is a flirt, especially some teacher's prejudice.
I've heard that smart girls don't care about clothes, and girls who care about clothes are not smart . This is bullshit. "When Caroline told the story in class, he won a lot of people's approval.
can not talk to the girl and the external beauty?
think a lot of internal and external beauty, is the fish and eat it, we can only talk about one of them. They think, help the little girls is the only way to improve their study, external beauty so as not to keep from talking about, wasting too much energy. As Blom himself admitted, it was very difficult.
in the value of the value of the society, so that girls rely on talent to eat, we must continue to encourage them to develop the inherent ability. talking to girls about reading, politics, art, sports, and ideas is essential. but, girls also need to know themselves, understand the body, understand the beauty of the outside. it's hard to avoid, the girls' perception of beauty is as real as anything else.
(The Huffington Post)
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