What is true love for children? Transfer to your parents
shaonianshangxueyuan· 2017-06-20 22:00:23
what is the true love child
, parents unconditional love child.
psychologist believes that the child's self-confidence, the value of their own as a person's affirmation, basically from the unconditional love of parents (unconditional love).
what is unconditional love?
when the children came to this world, American parents of the children said: baby, whether you will be healthy or sick, clever or stupid, obedient or trick, pretty or ugly, good or bad grades, mom and dad will love you forever and feed you until you become independent people. This is unconditional love. Just because you are my child, I love you, and what kind of child you are." they love kids, enjoy the children's growth process, enjoy the children to bring their own happiness, to treat children with respect, encouragement, appreciation and trust attitude. There are parents love behind support, the children outside, no matter what happened, there is nothing to fear: "my parents love me, sure me.". "He was at ease, knowing that he had the power to face the world.
can do the unconditional love of parents, they themselves are also confident, positive attitude on their own, so do not put yourself not ideal to impose to children, or themselves do not force their children to complete generation. They know that each child has his own characteristics, he will encourage his children to be himself, and foster strengths and circumvent weaknesses, and believe that children will eventually grow into an independent and self reliant person.
the thing that children most desire in their hearts is their parents' love and unconditional love. Because he is the baby of his parents, not because he is a "piano prodigy" or "mathematical genius", or he received any awards. If the parents love is conditional: you study well the parents will be satisfied, you would be glad to win the Olympic math competition parents, children will feel doubt yourself, lose confidence in yourself, and learn to wear glasses snobbish to face love and care. If parents repeatedly raised the children unrealistic high standard children, if things go on like this will be tense, anxiety and worry about personal gains and losses.
psychiatrists believe that the majority of children with psychological problems can find the root of their upbringing. Parents influence children's character and mood more than school and society.
two, respect makes children confident.
confidence comes from pride. A man begins with self-respect and then becomes self-confident. Self esteem is a person's affirmation of his own self-worth, internal, and only about himself. It is a self perception that cannot be shaken by the external environment.
self-esteem begins with respect from the outside world. If you want your children to be confident, first of all, parents and society should respect him. We have always stressed that "encourage education" and "respect education", is that students establish positive self understanding, and not because of other people's strengths and inferiority, realize that everyone is a unique individual, have their own flash point. Maybe he doesn't know much about maths, but he has good leadership skills. Maybe he doesn't write well, but he paints well and has artistic cells. Maybe he is not good at expressing himself, but he is good at sports. Teachers and parents should help children to find his strengths, and create opportunities for his long to play, thus establishing his self-confidence.
a friend from childhood to most of the top students, admitted to the Beijing University of biology, and later received the Ph. D. in molecular biology at Princeton University. After graduation, I worked in the famous big pharmaceutical company. In the company, she often felt irritated, because those American colleagues technical knowledge are far inferior to her, but all of them feel good, mouth is: "my understanding of this problem is the most profound...... "I have made a breakthrough in this subject."...... "But she's always looking for her own shortcomings. She never has the courage to say how well she's doing in meetings. In fact, she contributes more than everyone else. She believes that compared with the Americans, the strongest in their own strength, lack is a self-confidence, because this, she lost a lot of opportunities in the company.
wait until her children go to school, she participated in the activities of the school, said the American parents filled with a thousand regrets, and teacher respect for the child, the children in the class have a brain obviously there is something wrong with the children, teachers are encouraged, ten questions of a teacher, let him immediately to the front that problem is for everyone to see, everyone applauded encouraged him to continue to work hard, not without sarcasm. Can children grow up without self-confidence in this environment? Where, when we were a child, did not do well in the exam, the parents scolded and scolded and violated the discipline. The teacher told you to stand in front of the classroom and accept criticism. Where was there any dignity to speak of?
, she said: "like me, the first top students in the school have been hit with no confidence, let alone the poor students, no wonder that so many students who are not studying well break the pot and fall.". "We need adults to children as well as adults respect their parents into their children room to knock on the door; moving or something a child should get his permission; any decision to involve children and their children should first talk; not free to look at their children's diaries or other privacy...... This spirit of respect is lacking in our society.