Chinese parents are ruining the next generation with their pay
zhiguqushi· 2017-09-10 00:32:36
" to protect the name of love, is a kind of deprivation, it deprives the two most important feelings in their life satisfaction and sense of boundary.
recently, HSBC released a global education spending survey.
primary school to university education cost, China Hongkong with more than 132 thousand of the world average level of three times the dollar topped the list, Singapore, Taiwan and Mainland China respectively to 70 thousand, 56 thousand, 43 thousand dollars in third, fifth and sixth. The
report also shows that 82% of parents are ready to make sacrifices for their children's success, and more than 1/3 of Chinese parents have completely lost their personal time.
on the issue of education, Chinese parents rolled the world again. Even so, there are still more than 70% Chinese parents worried that they have not done the best for their children.
coincidentally, a recent "monthly salary of thirty thousand, or can not afford to afford a child's summer vacation" article in the circle of friends crazy pass.
, an executive mother, has a salary of thirty thousand a month, but because the child spends thirty-five thousand on a summer vacation, she doesn't even dare to buy new clothes.
so when people ask why Chinese people are reluctant to have children, the answer is: "expensive" and "tired". "
has become almost synonymous Chinese education.
can be parents to pay and sacrifice, but not in exchange for steaming good days, but caused a lot of parent-child relations predicament.
, I never doubted the unconditional love of my parents for their children, but it was not love, it was stupid.
last weekend, neighbor Maggie's husband and wife went to a friend's wedding and took my four year old son, Xiao Bao, with me. I thought Xiao Bao usually played with his son so well that taking care of him should not be difficult.
Maggie when Andy sent, I was dumbfounded, a box of children's products and a full written schedule, innocent with me said, trouble you.
after breakfast, I took my son as usual to go for a walk in the community garden.
then, after greeting Xiao Bao, he walked outside and walked to the door. He found himself standing behind me, looking at me, and lowering his head.
he was watching me, I took him to sit down, teach him to wear shoes, don't quarrel son sat beside, help me teach Andy shoes. It took us a whole hour to put on our shoes, and Andy laughed and rushed out of the door with his son.
night, Maggie to pick Andy, chatted a few words, she was anxious to go home with Andy, Andy as the day I taught him, picked up his shoes on his feet, for a long time, only to find the anti wear, sweating.
Maggie looked impatient, rushed up to help his son to slow down shoes, small treasure wow, and then cried.
Maggie while carrying large bags, while coax small treasure, all out of my house. How can you not be tired of raising a child like this?.
according to German psychologist Erickson's new psychoanalytic theory of personality, the child from 1 years old, will form the concept of self, 3 years old will enter the self-esteem period, began to find self-worth.
during this period, parents' excessive help to their children would make them feel powerless and frustrated.
children need the feeling of being needed and being granted, and this feeling comes from doing something alone, or giving a helping hand to help others. In many Chinese families, children are just makers of problems.
, a child centered Chinese family, there is another danger: children have no sense of boundaries.
when the child fell, we ran away at once, picked up the child, drained the dust from him, and coaxed him in all sorts of ways.
the child can't carry it back. When we are in the bag, we don't want to, so we reach for the bag which is not heavy.
universal parents cross boundary help, it is easy for children to take responsibility for their own, as a parent's obligations.
the sense of boundaries is the difference between self and others.
lack of sense of boundaries of children, because not tell their own feelings and the feelings of others, so people often confuse, interpersonal boundary. Aunt
has a spoiled sister, from school to life, and everything is taken care of by her parents. Even the job was given by the father. Every time she came to my house in
, as long as you see on the table will begin to fiddle with good stuff. I shut the door, she is in a place where there is no one.
once, dad from Japan with a beautifully wrapped box of fruit and said to his aunt and uncle cousin want to try, don't want to be in our faces, you open the box, said his first try. I didn't feel anything wrong.
she often complains that people around her are bad for themselves and always like to comment on other people's choices. Difficulties arise in interpersonal relationships.
was a child who had no sense of respect when he was a child, and when he grew up he didn't know how to respect other people's sense of boundaries.
, many parents have a confused, less loving child, lack of security, love
You buy the real estate, and you can't actually stabilize your life.