The child asked: my humility, why don't they let me?

Father mother family psychology

zhizihuajiatingjiaoyu· 2016-05-12 15:07:02


" when you say he is younger than me, I will take.

after a while, the child said that today did not eat fruit. Asked why, the boy said:

and children face crinkled into one regiment, aggrieved said: <" mother, little brother I to humility, Big Brother Big Sister, I have a humility. I give them, why don't they let me? "The little girl is 6 years old this year. Look at their baby teeth marks on his arm, friend heart hurt like bite on myself.

girl friend also very wronged, wronged, I teach children humility, right? Why humility but give children bring harm? Why do the other children are not humility? Do you not teach children to obey?

teach children humility yes, but must grasp "degree".

according to Kohlberg's stages of moral development theory, moral development level of children in this age group in the custom of the front of the stage, they unconditional that parents and teachers say is right, unconditional obedience parents, teachers. Their "humility" is unconscious -- they can't the parents, teachers requirements of deep thinking and therefore does not identify these requirements also apply to the situation. < p > so, when we broadly told the child, "your humility", the child will not choosing the right moment to display a "good quality of humility, and will at some point to their own cause unnecessary harm.

everyone through competition for what time, you don't need to be modest, and the efforts of the people should get his rightful prize, we fair competition.

… …

and so on. < p > our instructions must clear, specific, and to avoid similar "right" this complex concept, so that we can within the scope of children's understanding, most clearly fully told him what to do, children also can truly understand and remember what the how to do. Every word you say don't underestimate

, maybe you said to forget, but little friends will always remember.

we need to teach children to obey? To! Must do! Moral

is above the law restricts people's thoughts and behaviors, the reason why we have to abide by the code of ethics, because under the constraints of ethics, we will force yourself to make altruistic behavior; the recipient feel warm, in order to stimulate the altruistic behavior, and feedback to warm behavior -- such a virtuous circle, society will become brighter, more human. A major role of moral norms, is to use constraints to bring people to love each other's experience, so as to stimulate more altruistic behavior. < p > a lot of people will say, the too idealistic, in the world which have so many good friends and I don't want to let my children as "cannon fodder". Indeed, we are concerned about our children the, we worry too much about our children suffer, we worry too much about our children being bullied, we worry about our small children is not enough to resist the bad guy in the world. But we must therefore let children become a do not know humility and indifferent "bad"? < overkill is not desirable, we need to do is not taught to children's moral norms, not let the children into a never "lose", "bad", but explicitly tell the child, the kind-hearted do what extent, what kind of people we don't need to him "good", when we can't "humility", and to fair competition. We have to tell the child, is a measure of goodness, rather than simply let the children do "the old man". Class= img_box "

"content_img_p" for younger children, we have to use clear and specific instructions to tell him how to do.

for older children, we can let him read the article, and discuss with him how to do, so that both help children's moral concept of training, but also help to improve children's reading ability. < p > we allow wayward children, allow children to follow individual selfish nature, but only if we in the hearts of the children a moral and good seed, in the future, these seeds can let society the garden is covered with flowers of goodness. < p > Tian Jing Ying, knows the son spend psychological researchers, journalism and psychology double degree from Huazhong University of science and technology, many volunteer experience, and parent-child activities organized experience.


Kolberg's theory of moral development stage

pre custom levels include obedience to the orientation of the punishment and the naive self serving stage. Children at this stage, often based on the specific results of the behavior rather than the conventional moral standards or social expectations to judge.

custom levels include good children and respect for authority and maintenance of social order. Children have been able to understand the importance of maintaining family or social expectations, and ignore the immediate and superficial results. The custom level of

includes the performance of standards and compliance and good moral orientation. Children strive for moral values and principles to make their own interpretation, in the evaluation can go beyond the general principles, consider more is the essence of morality, rather than the specific moral standards.

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