Parent-child education - vigilant! Tell parents do not reward children with material!
zhongguoyouerjiaoyuwang· 2017-12-13 10:51:48
for quick, many families have love for material reward children, but in this way, come down for a long time will do harm you know?
recently, mom gave us a message, said she was particularly headache, their children have to do so. One day, to participate in the reading test, the school, asked her mother: "Mom, I have a good exam? "
mother with Momo to say" no ", unexpectedly, a face, very unhappy to say" no reward I can't attend the test, you do! "
a villain would say that, even threat to adults! It has to be told from the child's kindergarten. At that time,
do not want to go to kindergarten, each school will be crying, while the family are helpless, grandma said: "you go to school after school, grandma take you to eat McDonald's...... "Did not expect immediate, gradually developed into the noodles to eat, you can see the cartoon", "pick up the toys, eat a candy reward", "to do well in school, to reward the children to the playground", "not obedient crying can get a new toy", and "clean up the room clean health can get 5 dollars"...... What about the
result? The adults give yourself a pit dug the pit, like a bottomless abyss, adults deeper, no reward for not practicing, no reward do not seriously lectures, no reward or even don't go to school......" foreign psychologist repper has done an experiment like this: he picked up some
love painting children divided into two groups, with one group said: "he was good at painting to reward", then with another group said want to see your picture. "". Three weeks later, most of the children in the first group were reluctant to take the initiative to draw, and the interest was obviously reduced. The second groups of children, as always, are actively drawing. Why does
have such a difference?
psychologists say that rewards can strengthen some benign behaviors, directly drive them to do something, but gradually it will make people only interested in rewards, but they will not be interested in winning behaviors. What harm does
material reward have in specific aspects?
1 and children will become utilitarian. Although
parents save time for reasoning, it will save time and labor on the surface. A short period of time, so the material reward may be a positive role in promoting the enthusiasm of the children to work or study, but once the child was rewarded with a purpose, gradually do sth. will, for learning and parents to do things will slack mood, everything will be staring at the reward for.
2, misleading the purpose of doing things,
will transfer the purpose of the child's study. Parents take the reward as a deal for children to do things, which makes the child develop the habit of acting for the prize. It will make the child do things and take the thought of reward, once the unprofitable, the child loses the power of doing things, and can not focus on learning.
3, parents will lose the initiative
as children grow older, have more and more wide, growing appetite, if parents can not meet the requirements of the child, want the brakes have been impossible, parents can only continue to drive their children along with the material, otherwise the child will become small and the parents worked against the bad guys, no reward to the child helpless.
so, how do you encourage children correctly?
1, as little as possible with the children deal
transaction is detrimental to the development of children, and parents will gradually develop a "bargain" bad habit of learning and doing housework just to get the benefits of the thinking form in the mind, thus losing interest in exploring these things inherent fun, things will be very passive. So parents are as little as possible to deal with their children.
2, even material rewards, should not be rewarded. When
rewarded children with material reward, it should be rewarding children's good behavior, not the result of things. For example, tell the child: "you have worked very hard this semester, and you have gained confidence in your progress. Your parents are very happy, so you are rewarded. "Beware of the circle of material rewards.
3, less material reward and more spiritual encouragement.
parents should give children more spiritual encouragement rather than material reward when they choose the way of encouragement. There are two ways of inspiring children in the spirit of language and behavior. The low level of motivation is language, and the high level of motivation is the expression of behavior. For example, a happy smile, a appreciative look can make the child remember his life.
children's education network official website: www.zgyejy.net (long press copy)
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