Never take the initiative to say hello to the child, why is it called "polite"?
shaonianshangxueyuan· 2016-11-28 12:26:30
true politeness, not in the mouth
thing I have not too clear.
daughter contacted most teachers and elders, always praised her "very polite", but I have been carefully observed, she will not take the initiative to say hello, do not love the gallant, please others or close, I really don't know why she could win the praise.
until the daughter followed me to friends, everything will click into place. Although the advance and Ontario she introduced participants to the scene, she is still as usual and clumsy, not to mention a series of response aunts greetings and all kinds of problems. She sat quietly beside eating muffins, listening to our chat, a warm atmosphere, I also forgot to "her presence".
not long after that, she held my clothes: "Mom, you are too loud, speak a little.
and after a while, she once again reminded me: Mom, just waiter asked aunt questions, you did not notice. "
not only that, the store business is very good, nevertheless, she also noticed that our bags put quite outside, pay attention to our easy chair card to the aisle, others do not easily by … … two hours down, several aunts also noticed her careful and considerate.
finally the poor words of the young lady to win the praise of the aunt were unanimous: "is a polite and considerate child.
turned out to be the daughter of courtesy is not in the mouth, but practice at any time to pay attention to the presence and feelings of others, the expression of kindness and caring, that we usually say, empathy ". That is to say, even today one mouthful please, thank you, sorry, but if only to ask others with their own, ignoring the actual needs of others, then this "impolite" offensive than feel shy Hello worse." children not rude, adults can't bear to be refused to
addition, observe the interaction between adults and children, we will find that some people think that the "rude" is this:
elders gave children enthusiastically dessert or specialty, but the child refused: "I do not want to eat. "Aunt
kindly take a coat please dress the children to catch a cold, did not think the child said:" I'm not cold, do not want to wear. "
some adults want to invite children to run errands or carrying things, and did not expect the expected response, direct response to children:" I am now in play, do not want to help you. "Do not love or hear the truth, for example," this dress is not good-looking, this restaurant is not good "… &hellip
; if these situations occur in public occasions or with friends and relatives, not only make people feel awkward, sometimes attracted criticism in the Taiwan community, attitude and response content too direct, may secretly will let people think not tactful, polite enough.
however, so that they feel no face is not necessarily the other side of the problem, the same sentence, listening to different interpretations of the ear in different, triggered by emotion, may be a reflection of the past negative life experience. If you accidentally touch your own weakness or pain points, it may not be the message that the other party wants to pass on. Children do not need to undertake a wide variety of adult life experience, which is not polite and polite not to do anything, at best, is a way of expression can be considered.
when we and the children that "Politeness", what we are sending
to each country's customs are not the same, of course, the definition of "good manners" are greatly different, even opposite, so when we talk of "politeness", or hope their children to be polite, first ask yourself, what to tell children what kind of content, if we narrow the polite meaning, it ignores the underlying cultural values and consciousness framework?
is really polite? Or a superficial response?
come back to see what we say is polite, in fact, everyone's ideas are not the same: courtesy is a courtesy? Is there a person in spite of his polite, elegant behavior, but let himself feel very uncomfortable? What actions would make you feel offended, and think of each other as "not polite"? A person who does not say good morning to you, but is willing to sit down and listen to the difficulties you encounter, you receive the respect and politeness, will say hello but did not want to stay in the conversation but also less? Two yuan in its argue
"requirements" or "not required" child manners, it is better to spend time the connotation of "Politeness" this matter sorted out, or convey to children, just a vague concept, even we do not know what to say.
not with children deliberately say "Politeness" two words, "do not come out because of politeness" deliberately behavior, the formation of this kind of interaction should be dynamic, rather than static model, behavior; do not require surface politeness is not equal to give up discipline, just don't need in a specific form of expression. The real need to ask children to be polite, is always aware of their own behavior to other people's influence, is "Empathy" and the double requirements of observation, is the practice of character.